Why am I different?

Hi, welcome back.

Today I want to talk about another struggle I had in life, and that was accepting the reason I was and am, different.

During grade 7 was the first time I started noticing my differences. I was different than the other kids. And now I finally understand why.

In grade 7 I didn’t know who I was, and it felt like I was alone in the world. My thoughts were a lot different than the other kids and I didn’t express my emotions the way they did.

I never liked playing with my friends and always wanted to sit alone during lunch time. In class I had a difficult time keeping up because it felt like I was moving slower than the other kids.

My arms always felt heavy, and I just didn’t like doing stuff.

Because of this I was called lazy and mean. But I wasn’t. I was just different.

In high school my differences got more noticeable. I didn’t laugh that much and was always tired some days I had this crazy burst of energy, and that made people think I am weird. And it was because I didn’t understand why I feel happy some days and feel sad every other day.

On the days I was sad I didn’t even have a reason to be sad. I just was. People thought I was just being an angsty teen but I knew it was more than that.

I hated going to school. Some days I would wake up crying and it actualy made me feel sick going. I think it was because I was sifferent and dint understand what was wrong with me. I asked: ‘Why am I the way I am” Every day I woke up.

I felt lost and wished my life was over even before it began.

Now I know why. I have bipolar depression. Its not something that my brain developed over the years, it had always been there. I just didn’t understand it back then.

I let different because I am different and that is oky. It is oky to be different.

It took me a while to cope with the diagnosrs and I have to be medicated because of it and that’s oky.

I am different, My brain thinks different and my body feels different. That just makes me unique.

I know that I am always gonna struggle in life but with a good support system you can do anything.